A geographically sound exit strategy, for emotionally unavailable Münchners.
Some people deserve closure. Others deserve… location-based ambiguity. Maybe you never owed them a text back. Maybe they said “let’s split the bill” on a first date. Maybe you just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to explain why you’re suddenly allergic to their entire personality.
Whether it’s a soft fade or a full Irish goodbye, this is your guide to disappearing with dignity.
Great Places in Munich At A Glance
Hauptbahnhof
For Vanishing into Pure Transit Energy
The OG ghosting arena. With 32 tracks and endless human traffic, no one is finding you here. Tell them you’re grabbing a snack from Starbucks, then accidentally board a train to Garmisch. Or at least pretend to.
Ideal for: Fast exits, fake train journeys, and “sorry, bad reception” texts.
Englischer Garten
For Getting Lost (Literally and Emotionally)
The paths twist, the cell reception’s spotty, and the ducks aren’t judging you. Suggest a casual walk, then take the left trail and never look back. Bonus: the sound of rustling leaves makes it impossible to hear their follow-up texts.
Ideal for: Soft fades in soft nature, ghosting with fresh air, and “oops, thought you took the other path.”
Isar Riverbank
For Disappearing Into a “Nature Moment”
Invite them for a scenic riverside stroll. Bring a beverage. Smile softly. Then claim you need to take a quick call… and let the current carry you spiritually away. With multiple exit paths, footbridges, and moody scenery, this is ideal terrain for quietly phasing out of someone’s life while appearing emotionally deep.
Ideal for: Nature-based avoidance, long walks to nowhere, and poetic fade-outs.
Westpark
For Soft Ghosting with Scenic Justification
Westpark is the kind of place you suggest when you want to seem grounded and outdoorsy… while plotting your escape behind every bonsai and birch tree. With winding trails, surprise pagodas, and minimal phone signal, you can “go for a walk” and slowly lose them, spiritually and physically.
Tell them you’re heading toward the Japanese Garden and then quietly detour toward the nearest U-Bahn. You were chasing inner peace…not commitment.
Ideal for: Ghosting by daylight, vague nature excuses, and slipping off the radar under the guise of self-reflection.
Viktualienmarkt
For Ghosting With Gourmet Distractions
Meet for “a casual stroll through the market” and then let nature and wurst stands take their course. Viktualienmarkt is loud, crowded, and beautifully disorienting, especially on weekends. Suggest grabbing a glass of wine or a snack “real quick” and simply melt into the crowd like a butter on a piping hot potato at Caspar Plautz.
Ideal for: Culinary vanishings, low-stakes flaking, and blaming the whole thing on market chaos and “bad signal.”
Rosengarten
For Vanishing Into Bloom-Filled Silence
Tucked along the Isar, this serene little rose garden is the perfect setting for a ghosting act disguised as mindfulness. Invite them for “a quiet walk through the gardens,” then slowly drift toward the bees, the benches, or that couple having a deeper moment nearby. Let the scent of herbs and vague emotional distance do the rest.
Ideal for: Gentle exits, peaceful dodging, and pretending you were just pondering in the poisonous plants garden.
Hofgarten
For Vanishing Into a Poem
Under the arches, past the fountain, near the guy playing Vivaldi on a violin, you were never really here. The quiet grandeur makes your lack of response feel like a French novella instead of emotional immaturity.
Ideal for: Romantic disappearances, literary guilt, and elegant breadcrumbing.
Fischbrunnen at Marienplatz
For Public Ghosting with a Splash of Denial
Tell them to “meet you at the Fischbrunnen” the classic Munich meetup spot that doubles as the city’s most emotionally neutral ghosting arena. It’s central, swarming with tourists, and acoustically chaotic. You could be standing ten steps away and they’d still miss you. That’s the magic.
If things get weird? Pretend you were just “inside looking for them,” then quietly disappear into the nearest souvenir shop or U-Bahn entrance like the emotionally unavailable apparition you are.
Ideal for: Low-effort flaking, public ghosting, and plausible deniability in historic proximity.
Olympiapark
For Long Walks That Turn into Solo Journeys
This is the ghosting equivalent of a scenic route. Invite them for a winter walk around the lake or up the Olympic Hill “to catch sunset views,” then slowly pick up pace and pretend you’re “just going to take a quick picture.” By the time they catch on, you’ll be halfway to BMW Welt.
Ideal for: Gradual exits, sporty excuses, and blaming it on your step count.
Theresienwiese
For Seasonal Ghosting with Built-in Exit Plans
During Oktoberfest: get “lost” in a different tent. In the off-season: pretend you went for a jog and your phone died. No one expects consistent communication in a space that transforms overnight.
Ideal for: Beer-based memory holes, seasonal vanishing acts, and “meet me by the Ferris wheel” energy.
Your Local Edeka
For Everyday Evasions
Saw them in the dairy aisle? Take the long way through frozen foods. About to bump into them at checkout? Act fascinated by toothpaste. Munich is small but your ability to ghost without guilt is big.
Ideal for: Casual ghosting, silent exits, and running into someone without running into conversation.
Ghost Light: Exit Stage Left
In a perfect world, we’d all communicate clearly. But in this one? Sometimes the kindest thing you can do… is vanish into curated urban anonymity. Munich makes it easy. Just add sunglasses and a vague text like “hey, I’ve been meaning to respond…”
Follow @boredinmunich for more painfully specific city guides, first date soft launches, and emotionally intelligent avoidance strategies.
